New post,two and a half years have gone by, 2016 is upon us....life is whizzing by and there have been may changes in our lives in 2015.
Just the other day...I was reminded that I started a blog.... a blog? OH..YES... a blog.
This blog is a painful reminder of my reality. I dread looking at it or writing about the topic that prompted me to start writing. I just read back on my last handful of posts. Everything I wrote is still true... as years have gone by, it's not gotten easier, I have not forgotten, I have not healed and she has not come back.
I recently saw her, in person. It was Sat November 28, 2015. It was brief, it caused a million emotions to stir up. It affected my entire weekend.
I waved and said "Hi" to her, she politely smiled. That was it. My parents were with me, Jon was with me,it was a shock to us all, because we were not expecting to see her.
I worried the most about my parents. If this has been hard for me...I know it's been a million times harder for them. As they age, and before it's too late... my hope for a reconciliation gets stronger, my faith somehow grows. I take no credit for any of that...my human reaction is to crumble, to die, to cry, to rage....but I know none of that will do me any good. Having faith and hope is how I get through each day of my life.
The pure happiness I felt, was incredible to feel, when I saw her face and her smile... I just about died inside. She is just beautiful, she is a grown woman (she will be 20 in May 2016) I wish I knew her.
Alyssa,
I miss you. I want you back. I love you.
Love forever,
Mom
About Me
- Renée Beck
- United States
- “Any attempt at alienating the children from the other parent should be seen as a direct and willful violation of one of the prime duties of parenthood” - J. Michael Bone and Michael R. Walsh, authors of “Parental Alienation Syndrome: How to Detect It and What to Do About It” -http://www.divorcesource.com. ---I am a mom who has survived Parental Alienation, It lasted 10 years. During those years of hopelessness, I started this blog to talk and share my feelings with my daughter. This was the only way for me to be heard, I shared my struggle and feelings. It helped me to heal, slowly. But more than that; it's become a platform for me, as I learn more about this epidemic, to inspire someone who might also be dealing with it. I hope my testimony and experience will help others survive when they feel like giving up. Don't give up, keep fighting and give it to God. It is the only thing that keeps me moving forward each day.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
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